(First things first: at weigh-in yesterday morning, I was down 2.2 pounds. I’m on my way back down. YES!)
I haven’t been on a vacation – a REAL vacation – in roughly eight years.
My parents are workaholics and rarely take breaks for family excursions, and aside from studying abroad in college (while it was the most incredible experience of my life, I’d hardly call it a “vacation”), the most exotic trip I’ve taken since then is a week in Atlantic City with my boyfriend soaking up the sun…and the comp rooms the Tropicana keeps tossing my way.
But this summer I’ll be turning 25, and I thought that this milestone birthday would be a great time to return to my most favorite place on Earth. I’ve been a Disney freak since birth, and could think of no better way to ring in a quarter century of my life than with an Orlando vacation.
(Plus, I’ll finally be old enough to rent a car while we’re down there. Score!)
But wait, that’s not all. I’m also determined to celebrate the big 2-5 by doing something I’ve never done before.
This August, for the first time in my life, I will wear a bikini.
That’s right. I have never, ever deemed myself “thin” enough to dare exposing that much skin in public. Heck, I don’t even like doing it behind closed doors. Even as late as last summer, I spend the hottest days of the year slinking in around in a tankini (or tankini and skirt combo), praying that nobody is staring at my thigh jiggle or batwings. In fact, 2009 was the first year I’ve ever felt comfortable enough with my body to wear bathing suit bottoms that didn’t feature a thigh-covering swim skirt, or immediately drape myself in sarongs if leaving poolside.
Unfortunately, it’s not even about seeing a certain number on the scale. It’s about what my body will actually look like in a teeny weeny two-piece. You see, while shedding 80+ pounds has afforded me the ability to slide into a size 8/10 jeans – a size medium, in most clothing stores – that doesn’t mean that I have the typical “medium” size body. People are constantly asking me if I’m at my “goal” weight, because even though I still have these 40 pounds to lose, I don’t necessarily LOOK like I do. My incessant working out has helped, for sure, but I also know how to camouflage my trouble spots and select pieces that flatter my shape.
But underneath it all, there are faded stretch marks adorning my legs and belly, my breasts have essentially deflated, and loose skin sags from my limbs. And in a bathing suit, I don’t have the luxury of hiding all that. I know that further weight loss will inevitably make my body appear smaller, but at the same time, I’m realistic: I know that years of yo-yo dieting will forever prevent me from having the body of a Victoria’s Secret model.
Still, I want to frolic with the dolphins at Discovery Cove and fly down the water slides at Disney’s Blizzard Beach waterpark wearing a bathing suit that doesn’t look like it was designed for a 40-year-old soccer mom. I’m not counting on having the ideal “bikini body” by August (or ever!), and I know better than setting timed weight-loss goals for myself, but I’m fairly confident that with a lot of hard work and discipline, I could look pretty damn good when I pay a visit to my old pal Mickey this year.
I’m hoping to iron out the details and start booking our arrangements this week…so the countdown begins NOW!
Oh, and in case anyone’s interested…I want some version of this suit. Is Adriana Lima included with my purchase? 
Loss to Date: 84 lbs
