Better late than never, right?

I usually spend the majority of January prepping for the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend (half recap HERE, full recap HERE, in case you missed ‘em!) and the following weeks basking in all the post-Disney happiness.

WDW Marathon Weekend = A SUCCESS
(P.S. Anyone else heartbroken that the hat is almost completely gone?!)

It’s always nice to kick off a new year with a marathon, but now that January is over, I thought it was time to get serious about the rest of my goals for this year.

And I am happy to announce that I am officially registered for yet another marathon.

Marathon #5 will be…

::::::::::::::::::::drumroll, please::::::::::::::::::::

www.thenewjerseymarathon.com

(And, just for the record, this was all Todd’s idea…so if anything goes horribly wrong, it’s my full intention to blame him.)

Honestly, I wasn’t planning to run another marathon this soon. I figured I’d take a little bit of a breather, maybe do some half marathons, and gear up for another bout of marathon training in the late summer/fall.

But I’ve already done the New York Marathon…might as well run one that takes place literally 20 minutes from our house.

One of my first half marathons was the Long Branch Half Marathon back in 2013, which is part of the New Jersey Marathon — so it’ll be kind of cool to return and “go all the way” this time. And to be honest, I have a hard time finding the motivation to get out there and run if I don’t have a goal, so I think a spring marathon is probably the best way to keep my momentum going!

2013 Long Branch Half…seems SO long ago.

Also? I want a sub-five. BAD.

I KNOW I could have done better in New York. I KNOW I could have pushed harder in my training…and I definitely KNOW that I wasn’t properly prepared for the course/conditions. I am positive that I can do better, and seeing how this course is supposedly pretty pancake-like (and it will hopefully still be fairly cool in April), I’m hoping I can finally see a “4″ in front of my marathon time!

But in addition to training for a marathon — AGAIN — I’ve also set my sights on some other health/fitness/running goals I hope to accomplish this year. And what better way to stay accountable than to announce them to the world?

1.) Get Fast Again. Okay, so I was never really “fast,” per se’. But ever since I started focusing on marathons, my average pace has climbed from somewhere in the 9:15 area to more like a 10:30. My half marathon times have jumped from around a 2:05 to a 2:25. And for the past several months, I’ve felt nothing but discouraged and sluggish. It’s hard to feel motivated to run when you feel like you’re running through molasses all the time. My legs are always tired, and I couldn’t/wouldn’t find the energy to do any sort of speedwork.

I want my “old” paces back, and I want them back NOW.

Here’s the thing, though…I kinda sorta have no flippin’ clue how to go about this. I used to just naturally run a 10ish-minute/mile, and my pace just improved with consistency alone. And that was that. I have to be honest and say I haven’t done a whole lot of speedwork. And definitely not in conjunction with training for a marathon.

This past weekend, I thought I’d push myself a little harder on some shorter distances, just to see what I could do…and what it would feel like to try to run faster again. And for the first time in forever (*cue Frozen song*) I managed to run a 3-miler in 30 minutes, and then the next day, I challenged myself a little harder to run 4 miles in under 40 minutes.

I was right around a 9:10 for the first mile, then a 9:20, then a 9:30, and a 9:40. I haven’t seen those kinds of paces in probably a year. Granted, it was not easy…those paces used to feel completely comfortable to me, and this time, I was sucking some serious wind. But I surprised myself. I CAN do it. It’s not going to be easy, but I hope that if I start pushing myself a little harder again, I can get back to where I was.

2.) Set a New Half PR. So, I have a confession. My half marathon PR? It’s 2:03, and it’s from my very first half marathon (I’m not counting the Princess Half, because I did NOT run that one for time). It was way back in April 2013.

And that is just SAD.

“Runapalooza” in Asbury Park: my half marathon PR. TWO YEARS AGO.

Since then, I’ve come close (that year I ran a bunch of halfs in 2:04, 2:07, 2:10…) but never actually beat it. This infuriates me to no end because you’d think that with all the finish lines I’ve crossed since then, I should have seen some improvement from my first race EVER, right?!

You know how I said I wanted a sub-five marathon? Well, I want a sub-two half marathon just as badly.

Clearly, I’m not training properly — and I will be the FIRST to admit that — and that’s something that needs to change pronto. I’m proud of all of my accomplishments, don’t get me wrong…but at the same time, I’m tired of “just” being happy to finish. I want to get better. I want to know that all the hours I pour into running are actually paying off.

In other news, I just realized that my half PR will no longer be useable when I apply for corral placement in Disney races. We *MAY* be running the Wine & Dine Half Marathon this year, and proof of time has to be from a race after November 2013. And I really don’t have any times from last year that are even remotely close to 2 hours. *Insert panic here.* You know I don’t run Disney race for time, but I DO want the best corral placement I can have…mainly so I can get to the characters (and the post-race PARTAY) a little faster.

Which means I have no choice but to stop resting on my laurels and actually get out there and RACE again. The plan is to take this month to start slowly building up some mileage (I’m using a beginner marathon plan for now), but mainly focus on speed for the shorter runs and trying to improve my longer run performance (more consistent paces, etc.). I hope to run a race or two in March to see what I can do…since I’m going to need the flattest course possible and cooler temperatures if I have any hopes of performing well.

Getting our marathon training started…on snow and ice. Gotta love it.

We’re thinking of possibly doing The Love Run in Philadelphia, and there’s also a local 10-miler for St. Patrick’s Day (which I’ve also done in the past) but I recall it being nothing but hills…which is no bueno for me.

I’m realistic enough to know that my next half isn’t going to be a PR, but I’d like to get a little bit closer to 2:00. That way, I can take most of March and April to continue training for the marathon…and then maybe try another half or two (any of you New Jerseyans ever run the Wildwood Half?!) afterwards.

3.) Tackle a Tri. I’ve been talking about this one for, like, ever. I’d love to see what I can do in a multi-sport race. I love cycling, but between running and karate, I never feel like I can squeeze it into my weekly training regimen. And because of my fear of the swimming portion — I CAN swim, but I’m definitely not the strongest swimmer — I keep putting it off.

But I looked into a few local triathlons, like the Jersey Girl Triathlon, which seems perfect for a beginner like me. It’s a 3-mile run, 11-mile bike ride, and 300-yard swim. I haven’t signed up yet, so nothing is official. But I figure I’d already be well trained to take on a 3-mile run (duh), and whenever I do cycle it’s always for at least 10 miles, so I’d just have to become a little more consistent.

As for the swimming…well…I figure it’s a great form of cross-training, and I won’t be racing in the late spring/early summer (TOO HOT), so I can focus on improving my performance in the water.

4.) Drop a Few Lbs. I haven’t really written about this here yet. But I’m sure ya’ll can see that I don’t look quite the same as the picture in my blog header, which was taken two years ago. Ever since I started running marathons, I’ve watched my body change. I’m still wearing the same size and everything, but jeans that used to be loose just fit me now, some of my old running shorts are a little too tight for comfort, and some of my dresses are showing a bit more in my mid-section than I’d care to see. I’ve watched my legs and arms continue to get a little bulkier, which I do attribute partially to the Thai/Taekwondo and running — and that’s fine — but I find myself feeling self-conscious about my body again. And I hate it.

I had finally reached a point where I felt good about my body. Then I become more physically active than I’ve ever been, run a couple of marathons…and start to put weight back on? Where’s the fairness in THAT?!

I’ve been struggling to strike the balance between eating what my body needs to fuel my running — particularly for marathon training — and yet not overdoing it. I struggle with the “rungries” constantly, and that assumption that because I ran for 2 or 3 or 4 hours on a Sunday, that I can eat whatever I want. I haven’t weighed myself in more than 2 years, nor do I even a little bit care what my current weight is. I spent my entire life chained to that scale, and allowed a stupid little plastic box to crush my self-esteem time and time again.

All I care about is feeling comfortable in my own skin again, so my goal for this year is to get back to where I was, mentally speaking. I don’t plan to go back to counting POINTs again, but I know enough about portion sizes and how much I was eating when I lost the weight to simply tighten things up a bit and be more careful about what I’m putting into my body.

5.) Cook More. To that end, we’ve been making a more serious effort to cook in this house. Both of us pretty much suck at it, and I have absolutely no patience whatsoever in the kitchen. Truth be told, I really don’t enjoy cooking AT ALL. I know how to read nutrition labels, so I’ve always tried to pick the healthiest, most “natural” stuff to stock the kitchen…but we’ve been relying on frozen conveniences just a tad too often.

So I’ve turned back to Weight Watchers, so to speak, and we’re making an effort to try at least 2-3 new recipes a week from their database (my mom still has an active membership, so I just log-in under her name…shhhhhhh). I like it because the recipes are genuinely good (and good-for-you!) and you can filter them by prep time, difficulty level, etc…and there’s no shortage of main meal options that even an idiot like me can put together. And I’ve ordered a few cookbooks from Amazon. So, we’ll see what happens.

20 minutes ’til dinner? That’s what I’m talkin’ about…

6.) Become a brown belt. I’m still plugging away at Taekwondo. Now that I’m no longer considered a beginner, the higher belt level classes tend to be a little later in the evening — which means I can squeeze more of them into my weekly schedule.

I’m still way behind the other adults I joined with (who can make several classes per week), and that can be discouraging sometimes. And as much as I love martial arts, I know the wear-and-tear it puts on my legs isn’t always ideal for marathon training! But I’m doing the best I can to make it to class and work on mastering my curriculum for each belt…so, hopefully, I’ll be testing for my red belt soon, and maybe even my brown belt by the end of 2015! Patience is a virtue, right?

How are you doing on your 2015 goals?

Who has tips on speedwork for me?!

Northeast peeps…what are some of your favorite local half marathons?

I’m officially a black belt in Muay Thai kickboxing.

For the past couple of months, if I wasn’t out running, then I was at my karate school. The announcement of the black belt testing for Thai candidates definitely wasn’t ideal timing for me; as I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been running myself ragged trying to get to classes and squeeze in sparring practice AND log my weekly training runs for the marathon next month.

I’ve been EXHAUSTED, and there’s a part of me that is very, very glad this test is over and I can focus on training for NYCM. (And get back to my Taekwondo classes!)

Especially since this past weekend, I got to run 19 miles and skip a rest day in favor of my Thai test. I also feel I should mention that because my test was on Sunday, I had to run my 19 miles on Saturday.

IN. THE. FREAKIN’. POURING. RAIN.

I generally don’t mind running in the rain. I will take a wet, rainy run over a hot, humid run ANY DAY. But this wasn’t just rain. What started out as a misty drizzle in the early miles of my run turned into several periods of downpours.

I was soaked by mile 6, and the park where I was running was starting to flood. I stepped in several massive puddles that completely soaked my socks and sneakers. And even though the park is normally filled with runners on a weekend morning, I was pretty much all alone with the exception of a handful of fellow diehard runners. We all just kind of nodded to each other, as if to say, “yeah…we’ve all lost our damn minds.”

But I kept plodding along. I really, really couldn’t let myself quit, and I didn’t want to have to postpone another long run. By mile 10, I couldn’t take the discomfort of my wet socks any longer, so I took a brief pause to drive back home and change into dry running clothes. Then I headed right back out to finish the last 9 miles close to home.

Up until mile 15 or so, I was dealing with the crappy weather and still felt pretty strong. But the last couple of miles were a bit of a struggle. My shoes were soaked again, and the inserts came loose and were sliding all over the place, so I kept having to take my sneakers off to adjust them. (Like I don’t have enough problems when I’m trying to run 19 miles!) And, of course, my body was starting to feel it — between all the karate and the running, my legs have been DEAD lately.

BUT…I did it. And in my mind, that’s all that counts.

Running in the rain got pretty annoying after awhile, but I have to admit, it made me feel a little bit like a badass. (Not to mention a moron).

Speaking of feeling like a badass…I woke up on Sunday with only minimal soreness from the previous day’s long run, and still had plenty of energy to get up and complete my Thai kickboxing test (which was a bit of a disappointment, because I don’t think the master actually delivered the intensity that the class usually demands).

I was disappointed in how rushed the test felt, especially the sparring; I’ve been training so hard, and he really only had us out there for a couple of minutes. It was the first time I had to “gear up” and fight in front of people…but I have to say, I loved it. It’s such an adrenaline rush, and it was so cool to be able to demonstrate all of the things I’ve learned over the past couple of years.

I felt my partner and I both did great, especially given our limited sparring experience, and it’s something I plan to continue. But maybe after the marathon.

Anyway, I spent a lot of time this weekend thinking about how far I’ve come. I wandered into a local karate school with a Groupon for three Thai kickboxing classes way back in 2011. I remember feeling so awkward and intimidated, and wasn’t sure if I was “in shape” enough to keep up with the rest of the class.

It only took one class, and I was hooked. I was pushed to my physical limits right from that first day, and even now, this is a workout that NEVER gets easy, and there’s always something new to learn.

These kickboxing classes started as a way for me to maintain my weight loss. I felt myself growing bored at the gym, and was terrified that I’d lose motivation and start gaining weight again. I was desperate to find something that would challenge me physically and give me the push I needed to move forward in my fitness journey.

Today, martial arts is a HUGE part of my life. And, in a lot of ways, I do credit Thai kickboxing with giving me the courage to start running. If nothing else, my journey in the Thai program has taught me just how strong I really am — physically and mentally.

Martial arts helped me see myself as a strong, fit person for the first time in my life. It made me realize just how tough I actually am, and that I was more than capable to go out and sign up for a 5K race…and then a 10K…and then a half…until I worked my way up to the full 26.2. If it weren’t for this program, I would have been way too intimidated to try Taekwondo, and I probably wouldn’t have an overflowing race medal hanger displayed on my wall.

So while this black belt means a lot to me, it doesn’t hold a candle to everything martial arts has done for me over the past couple of years. All throughout my weight loss journey, I used to get complimented about how “amazing” I looked, and all I cared about was being “skinny.” But these days, there’s nothing that makes me feel better about myself than when a fellow Thai or TKD classmate compliments my strength.

I look forward to seeing where it takes me over the next couple of years — hopefully, a black belt in Taekwondo, and maybe even another marathon or two…or six.

Have you ever done a long run in the rain?

Is there another activity you feel has helped support your running goals?

I’m especially excited to share my workouts from last week because I had a pretty eventful weekend — I earned my green belt in Taekwondo, and I also tackled my longest run to date: my first 15-miler!

Mon., Sept. 30: Rest

Tue., Oct. 1: 3 miles

Wed., Oct 2: 8 miles and Thai kickboxing class

Thur., Oct. 3: 2 miles

Fri., Oct. 4: 6 miles and Taekwondo class and graduation

Sat., Oct. 5: Rest

Sun., Oct. 6: 15 miles

Total weekly mileage: 34 miles

As I know I’ve mentioned here, I started my martial arts training with Muay Thai back in 2011, and then last year I enrolled in Taekwondo…a very, VERY different experience than Thai.

To continue advancing in Taekwondo, we have to memorize these increasingly-difficult combinations and forms (most of which are set to music…GAH) and a whole lot of different kicking and punching techniques, all of which are insanely precise and have to be performed just right.

It’s obviously not quite as physically demanding as running in that it’s centered more on flexibility and agility, and yet I do still find it challenging — mentally and physically, especially because the stretching hurts my poor, sad runner’s legs LIKE HELL — so it’s exciting to keep progressing towards my next belt! It is my goal to become a black belt someday…it’ll probably take me forever, but, that’s okay.

After a relaxing fall-fun day of apple and pumpkin picking on Saturday, I decided that this weekend should also mark the first of my LONG runs in my marathon training plan. Gulp.

I was supposed to run the Jersey Shore Half Marathon this weekend, but it was cancelled due to all of the government nonsense that’s going on right now since it’s held at a national park (Sandy Hook). I’m not pissed off about that at all.

I had to do a bit of rearranging on my Hal Higdon Dopey plan, and this weekend ended up being the perfect time for my next long run: 15 miles.

Since I’ve never run anything longer than a half marathon, and I decided to count my half marathon in Providence as my scheduled 14-mile long run (not ideal, I know, but there was really no other way to get that one in!), I thought it was time to embark on my longest run of marathon training on Sunday.

Todd decided that he would run 10 of the miles with me, and I was greatly relieved, believe me…because the thought of taking on that kind of distance for the first time on my own was a whole lot of overwhelming. I was pretty damn scared, not gonna lie!

I decided to try to mentally break up the distance in my mind — a tactic I read about all the time, and that I know a few of you have already suggested — so as to try to stop being so ridiculously scared of these long marathon training runs. I tried to convince myself that I would be running three 5-mile runs. Five miles isn’t scary at all to me anymore, but 15 miles sure is!

I have to say, it WORKED! I went out on Sunday morning for the first 5 miles on my own. I was actually feeling kind of pumped, and it was cloudy with pretty cool temperatures, so I kept having to force myself to slow down…my goal was to hover somewhere between a 10 to 10:30/minute mile for the majority of the 15 miles.

After I was done with the first five miles, I swung back to Todd’s to pick him up — and take a bathroom and Honey Stinger break — and then we did five more miles together. I was feeling pretty strong and actually having fun. I may or may not have been jamming out to Disney music the whole time…

At the 10-mile mark, I took another quick bathroom break, refilled my fuel belt with Powerade and took few Clif Shot Bloks with water, and went out for those last five miles. It was in the last leg of the run that my calves were really starting to tighten up — I’ve been having some soreness for the last couple of days — and, sorry for the TMI, but it’s also my special time of the month, so I was also dealing with some oh-so-pleasant cramping and pains that made me really, REALLY hate being a woman.

I did everything I could to distract myself from the discomfort I was starting to feel in those final miles, whether it was making idle chit-chat with Todd, repeating “Dopey” over and over again in my mind, or obnoxiously singing my Disney songs out loud — HA, not even joking — and when it was finally time to complete that last mile, I booked it all the way back to his house. I was so happy (and proud) to have conquered those 15 miles! I also took some victory photos, too, of course.

I was actually quite surprised that I was still feeling as good as I was — I was SO ready to be done (and I needed to eat something, pronto), don’t get me wrong…but I was glad that the 15 miles didn’t hurt quite as much as I had feared.

I’m still nervous about taking on the Dopey Challenge, but tackling this run — and still feeling strong at the end — definitely helped give me the confidence that I might just survive this thing. I can feel myself getting stronger with each of these longer runs, and I’m hoping that as long as I stay consistent and disciplined and just keep plugging away at this training plan, that I WILL be able to call myself a marathoner in just a few short months!

What are some of your tips for mentally (and physically!) getting through those LONG training runs?

Photo credit: Christine “Hopper” Nelson

I already got a little bit of a head start on this week’s holiday celebrations; my hometown holds their fireworks the weekend prior to the 4th of July!

So, here’s what last week’s workouts looked like.

Monday (24th): Rest

Tuesday: 6 miles and Taekwondo class

Wednesday: 3 miles and Thai Kickboxing class

Thursday: 2 miles (this was supposed to be a rest day, but, I just got the urge!)

Friday: 8 miles and Taekwondo class

Saturday: Thai Kickboxing class

Sunday: Thai Kickboxing class

Total weekly mileage: 19 miles

I was excited to get in my longer run this week, and surprisingly, I felt better than I thought I would. I’m still not loving long runs in the summer, but since my strategy for the Dumbo Double Dare is purely to finish and, oh yeah, HAVE THE TIME OF MY LIFE, I’m taking them nice and easy. I think my body is finally adapting to the heat and humidity in general, because running didn’t feel quite as torturous this week, so that’s also a bit of good news!

Firecracker 4-Miler, 2011

Since my piano teaching schedule lightens up A LOT in the summer, I’m able to get to my karate studio a bit more often for classes. So I’m finding myself sometimes working out twice a day…which I don’t necessarily think is a bad thing for now, but I know I’ll have to chill out a bit as Dumbo gets closer. Taekwondo is really an ideal cross-training activity for me because it forces me to stretch (good lord, how something can hurt SO bad and feel SO good at the same time, I’ll never know), but Thai can be really quite brutal on the body…and the last thing I need is an injury right now!

This week, I’m gearing up for the annual race hosted right in town where I live (and the park where I always run!): the Cranford Jaycees Firecracker 4-miler. This will be my third year running. The first year was my absolute first race ever (I skipped the 5K distance and went straight to 4 miles for some unknown reason), and the second year was my wake-up call.

Firecracker 4-Miler, 2012

I finished the race in almost the exact same time both years (and at over 40 minutes!), and last year, I had to ask myself whether or not I was going to commit to running and actually improving…otherwise, why waste the money on race fees? Just days later, I took a leap of faith and signed up for the Princess Half Marathon, and the rest is history!

So, needless to say, I’m hoping to crush my two previous times this year. I shaved 5 whole minutes off my time at the last 4-miler I participated in, but that race took place almost a year ago, so I’m anxious to see what I can do this July 4th! I know one thing for certain — I’ll definitely be more festively-dressed this year! (Hint: my race-day attire will definitely feature something sparkly…)!

I never, ever could have predicted that a holiday that used to be celebrated by stuffing my face with cheeseburgers and boozing in someone’s backyard would someday become all about waking up early to run a race! Who knew?!

Who else is racing this 4th of July?

As per my usual MO, I spent weeks freaking out about this test. Was I going to survive the workout? Could I remember all of the forms and self-defense moves? Could I break all of the boards? Was I going to fall flat on my face in front of everyone? Were spectators going to think I was strong enough, fast enough, fit enough, flexible enough to be a martial artist?

Then when I found out I was going to be expected to give a speech (mind you, a mere 60-90 second “testimonial” about what our martial arts training has done for us), that’s when I began losing sleep over the whole thing.

I know it’s only natural to feel butterflies before an event like this, but for me, I also happen to know that my nerves tend to run a little bit deeper than jitters.

After all this time, I still struggle with my self-confidence, and have to constantly force myself to believe that I CAN finish a 10K or ace a martial arts test or submit a great article for that new-to-me magazine. I waste an unbelievable amount of energy convincing myself that I’m not going to be able to do something — even when I know it’s ridiculous.

On Saturday, I had a few little amusing missteps — four attempts to break a few stupid wooden boards with a side-kick! — but you know what? I did just fine. Like I always do.

And that speech I’ve been panicking about? Thanks to the help of my my theater-trained sister, I was the only one who didn’t read straight from a piece of paper (which, by the way, I was told we were NOT going to have in front of us). I spoke from the heart about what martial arts has done for me, and all the words I had rehearsed just came pouring out. I even received a round of applause for my announcement about running my first half marathon next month, and several of my fellow candidates told me that I’m an inspiration and/or they had no idea I used to be overweight — both of which are still so hard for me to wrap my mind around.

I’m finding that every time I prove to myself I CAN do something, whether it’s crossing the finish line of a race or even having to (gasp!) speak in public, my self-confidence grows just a tiny little bit.

Maybe someday I’ll be able to stop doubting myself and finally find my self-confidence, but for now, I’m thrilled with each and every step that gets me there.

In case anyone was curious, I thought I’d share the “testimonial” I submitted to be chosen to speak. Like running, I really do believe that martial arts has changed my life — so while it’s always a bit awkward for me to share the sordid details of my weight struggles, it really was an honor.

Shortly before I began the Thai Kickboxing program, I weighed almost 100 pounds more than I do today. I’ve struggled with obesity since childhood, and have always been 40, 60, or even 80 or more pounds overweight at any given time throughout my life.

 After losing 90 pounds on Weight Watchers in 2008, I found myself getting bored with the treadmill and my usual gym routine.  I was terrified of gaining my weight back — as I had done so many times in the past — and wanted to find something that would keep me motivated and ensure that I never again returned to my old ways.

After my first Thai Kickboxing class, I was completely hooked…and today I can’t imagine my life without martial arts.

My training ended up doing so much more than helping me maintain my weight loss.  Today I’m in the best shape of my life, and feel both physically and mentally stronger than I ever thought possible. It has helped me break the cycle of constantly obsessing over my dress size, the number on the scale, or the need to be “skinny” — all I care about is being the healthiest person I can be, and pushing myself to become stronger, faster, and more physically fit.

Proving to myself that I could succeed in this program has given me the confidence to pursue my career goals and try other things I never thought I could do; I’ve recently started taking Taekwondo, and I’m training to run my first half marathon next month. 

Five years ago I never could have imagined that I would enjoy waking up on a Sunday morning to endure an agonizing kickboxing workout, or head out for a 10-mile run.  My training has inspired me to live by principles like perseverance and self-control, and ultimately develop the tools I needed to conquer my weight problem once and for all.

I want to thank all of the instructors for always motivating us to improve, and for pushing us harder than we think we can go. I also want to thank you for the words of wisdom and motivation you share with us during class.  They are truly powerful for people like me who need the reminder of how far we’ve come — and why our health and physical fitness is worth fighting for.

What are some things you’ve done to help boost your self-confidence?

Well, I’m here now, and guess what? It’s scary as hell.

I am in the midst of my full-blown training plan for the Disney Princess Half Marathon next month, and as I log my mileage on Daily Mile and watch Feb. 24, 2013 get closer and closer on my calendar, I have to admit that my comfort zone is starting to feel like a distant memory. While it all seemed like such a wonderful idea back in August when I decided I was going to register for a half marathon, now that it’s almost here, the thought of running 13.1 miles seems downright crazy…and I can’t help but feel those voices of self-doubt starting to creep in. Can I REALLY do this?

Posing with my first belt!

Meanwhile, this weekend I am testing for my Bo Black belt in Muay Thai kickboxing. I’ve been training for two years, and this test is essentially the culmination of everything we’ve learned thus far…all to be demonstrated after a brutal 45-minute workout. I remember earning my orange belt early in 2011 and feeling such a sense of pride and accomplishment that I had not only summoned to courage to try something new — especially since the workouts are INSANE — but that I was actually sticking with it.

In addition to a million things I had to memorize for this test, including forms and step-by-step self defense moves that we’ll have to demonstrate for all our friends and family and the entire staff, we also had to submit a written testimonial about what our martial arts training has done for us.

Well, it turns out that some of us are going to be required to recite that testimonial in front of everyone…including yours truly.

I should tell you that I am not a public speaker. I have never been a public speaker. I am strictly a one-on-one communication kind of gal whose livelihood depends on the written word…not the spoken one.  I’m the kind of person who still gets nervous when sharing a story in front of a group of four or five friends at a restaurant, let alone delivering a personal speech about my weight loss woes in front of a room full of strangers (PS, I have no trouble baring my soul from behind the safety of a computer screen, though…go figure).

Years ago, the thought of getting up in front of a group of people and sharing my story would have induced sheer panic. Don’t get me wrong — I’m not thrilled with the idea, and I know I will probably deliver a less-than-flawless performance rife with “ums” and “uhs” and my own unique brand of awkward.

My very first race!

But part of me does recognize this opportunity as another chance to break out of my comfort zone and prove to myself that I am not the same person anymore. And I’m only borderline terrified.

I have never believed in myself. Ever. My go-to motto was always “I can’t.” I couldn’t lose weight, I couldn’t be a writer, I couldn’t make friends, I couldn’t run, and the list goes on and on. There was a time not all that long ago when I was convinced that I could NEVER finish a 5K, or that I could NEVER lose weight (and actually keep it off).

I’m tired of “I can’t.” I WILL complete that half marathon, I WILL survive my Bo Black test tomorrow…and I WILL deliver that speech!

What are some ways that you’ve broken out of your comfort zone?

So here it goes.

Although I love the idea of a fresh start every January 1st, I’m really not a New Year’s resolution kind of gal. Anyone who has ever promised themselves that they’d lose weight in [insert year here] only to find themselves back on the couch with a bag of chips by January 15th knows that it takes a whole lot more than declaring a “resolution” once a year to make a permanent lifestyle change.

I prefer to live my one and only “resolution” — leading a healthy lifestyle — 365 days a year.

However, if there’s anything that the last six months of 2012 taught me, it’s that consistent goal-setting really is EVERYTHING. And best of all, you don’t have to wait until January 1, 2014 to set new goals for yourself…you can do it all year round!

Early last year, I would describe myself as a recreational runner at best. It was something I did to exercise, and that was pretty much it. At that point, I had participated in a few 5Ks and 4-milers “just for fun,” and had to admit that the thrill of crossing the finish line was unlike any I had ever experienced. I couldn’t deny my growing desire to give running a real shot.

I wanted to try a real training plan and I wanted to learn how to get faster and stronger, but I still couldn’t quite deny that nagging little voice in my head telling me that I would ALWAYS be too fat to run.

So when I raced in my local Firecracker 4-Miler on July 4th and found that my finishing time had not improved one little bit from my first time running the race in 2011 (it was also my first race overall), I decided it was time to make a choice.

Was I going to be a “real” runner, or what? And if so…what the heck was I waiting for?

I had to set a goal. A real goal. One that I couldn’t back out of even I wanted to. And that’s why, last August, I ended up setting the ultimate goal: to run a half-marathon. And not just any half-marathon…the Disney Princess Half Marathon in Feb. 2013.

I paid the pricey registration, booked myself an on-site room on the Walt Disney World resort, started comparing airfare, and Googled like crazy to find half-marathon training plans and advice on how I was actually going to make this goal a reality.

In the last six months of 2012, I followed training plans from Cool Running and raced in a handful of 5ks, 4-milers, and a 5-miler — and, surprise, surprise — my times started getting better and better! I even participated in two 10Ks, and much to my amazement, finished both in under 60 minutes.

I began the year struggling to maintain a 10-minute/mile pace, and now I’m averaging a 9-minute/mile pace. In 2011, I was running a 40-minute 4-miler, and now it takes me about 35 minutes. My 5K PR once hovered around 29 minutes, and in October I completed a sub-28 minute 5K for the first time.

I celebrated the holidays not with alcohol and turkey and sweets (okay, fine, there was SOME of that going on!) but by racing in “turkey trots” and “jingle bell” runs. My Christmas list consisted of pretty much nothing but running gear and accessories, from a Garmin Forerunner 410 to more BondiBands and Sparkle Skirts to another Spibelt and fuel belt for long runs.

Yes, that’s right…I’m even doing “long runs” now! I used to think that the idea of me running five miles was laughable, if not downright impossible. And now my long runs are up to 10 miles and counting!

Bottom line? I am absolutely, utterly addicted to running. And it’s because I finally mustered the courage to set a goal that I can proudly say today that I am a “real” runner.

Whether it’s a weight loss goal (say, shedding those few extra holiday pounds!) or a running-related goal (like setting a new PR), consistently challenging ourselves with new feats to accomplish is how we grow. And that is why I’ve decided to make it official and declare my top three goals for 2013:

1.) Cross the finish line of my first half-marathon. An obvious choice! Aside from my weight loss, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything this much. I don’t care how long it takes me, or if I have to crawl across the finish line…I WILL do this!

2.) Pay closer attention to what my body is telling me. This is a big one for me. In the last few months I’ve dealt with a few minor injuries that I know resulted in pushing myself too hard. I combine my half-marathon training with my Muay Thai kickboxing, and because my two workouts of choice happen to be very high-impact, I’m working on learning how to just let my body rest (without the need to call myself “lazy”) and to know when I need to scale back my efforts for the sake of my well-being.

3.) Strive for improvement, not perfection. I am notoriously hard on myself, so when setting new goals this year, I will focus not on being “perfect” but on recognizing and celebrating my own personal improvement. That means no more beating myself up at the finish line when I miss setting a new PR or other time goal, or berating myself for indulging in dessert or not exactly following the day’s food plan. I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. And it’s time I start admitting it!

What are some of your goals for 2013?

Now the bad news: my half-marathon training (running 4-5 times per week) combined with my twice-weekly Taekwondo class and the Muay Thai kickboxing classes that I take three times a week have finally caught up with me. I did something to my lower back, and it has now become excruciatingly painful to bend over or do any of those other basic movements that we all perform in a day and never think about — like grabbing the milk from the bottom shelf of the refrigerator, or, you know, sitting in a chair.

I’ve always prided myself on never doing anything halfway. My Type A personality combined with OCD tendencies have always compelled me to either let something completely consume my life until I achieve what I consider perfection, or I just don’t bother doing it at all.

And with running, there’s an added incentive for me to go overboard…I really, really want to cross the finish line of my first half marathon…the Disney Princess Half Marathon. I want it quite possibly more than I’ve ever wanted anything. For a formerly obese person like me, achieving a feat of physical fitness like running 13.1 miles is the epitome of doing the impossible…and I need to do this to prove to myself once and for all that the old me is gone forever.

The bottom line is that being active has become part of my identity. It’s who I am now. Just as I once defined myself as “the fat girl,” these days I am actually coming to to terms with the fact that I am a runner. I won’t be shattering world records any time soon, but nevertheless, I am a bonafide runner who looks forward to a Saturday morning 5K the way I once used to get all hot and bothered over a Friday night date with a bag of Doritos.

But the problem is that I love martial arts, too. Maybe a little too much. Next month, I test for a Bo Black belt in Muay Thai, and I just started my Taekwondo training — which has proven both physically and mentally challenging (who knew it would be so hard to balance on one foot or remember a form?) and has therefore once again awakened the perfectionist, competitive beast inside of me. I know I’ll never be the fastest runner, but I think that with the right training, I could quite possibly be an above-average martial artist.

And that’s why there are days I squeeze in a 3- or 4-mile run before a 45-minute Muay Thai workout that’s immediately followed by a one-hour Taekwondo class. I have been fortunate enough to find not one, but three fitness activities that I love and that have helped me to both maintain my weight loss and sculpt the fittest body I have ever had in my 27 years of existence. I got bored with my elliptical workouts and pretty much every other workout I’ve ever tried (Zumba, step aerobics, Spinning, yoga…you name it), and yet when I’m running a race or roundhouse kicking a Wavemaster or trying in vain to perfect the art of the chop block, I never, ever find myself watching the clock or battling the urge to quit due to boredom.

And my incessant need to keep pushing my limits to get better and better has clearly caused me an injury that, unlike my usual soreness or the occasional pulled muscle, doesn’t just disappear after 2-3 days. I’ve been ignoring my lower back pain for longer than I care to admit, hoping that it would just magically fix myself…but now that the pain is the worst it has ever been, even I have to admit that I may need to scale it back a bit. And, you know, actually see a doctor (I finally gave in and made an appointment with a chiropractor).

So as we head into a time of year that’s all about gratitude, I feel compelled to say that I am genuinely thankful for my body and my health and for everything that it has helped me accomplish in the last five years since I began my weight loss journey.

And while I will not stop training for my half marathon or squeezing in a martial arts class whenever I can, I will work on listening to my body and learning how to recognize when I’m pushing myself too hard. I will also do what I have to do to recover from whatever is going on with my back — even if it means, heaven forbid, taking an extra rest day or two!

Have you ever dealt with a sports-related injury?

Oh, how wrong I was. Since I started running more seriously, I’ve discovered just how much you need to pound the pavement, from an ample supply of sports bras (lest you do laundry every single day) to gadgets to keep track of pace and distance.

Here are some of my favorite goodies, and other running essentials.

1.) Running Wardrobe

I have Kohls to thanks for my abundant wardrobe of running tanks, capris, shorts, jackets, pull-overs, and sport bras. I’ve pretty much become a walking billboard for FILA, which is the only brand I’ve found thus far that always fits me like a glove and, most importantly, is relatively affordable…especially when I have a coupon!

Though they’re not a sports company, per se’, I actually like Lily of France sports bras (also from Kohls); call me crazy, but I’m not a fan of uni-boob, so instead of the ones that squish everything down and make me look like a 10-year-old boy, I prefer bras like these.

I have amassed more running clothes, with tanks in every color of the rainbow — and pants to match — than I care to admit. Yet, somehow, I’m still doing more laundry than I have in my life! My workout wardrobe practically exceeds my regular wardrobe now…and I kind of love it.

As a bonus, it wasn’t until I upgraded my workout wear from $5 cotton tanks from Walmart that I started to feel like a “real runner.” There’s definitely something to be said for dressing the part!

2.) SPIBelt

I can’t believe I just discovered these! For so long, I was jamming everything from keys to money to snacks into my bra (super cozy, by the way), or simply neglecting to take my cell phone with me on runs (never a good idea), because I had nowhere to store my essentials when on-the-go. After Googling around for a solution to my problem, a blog by 30 Something Mother Runner turned me on to Spibelts — small personal item belts — and I am officially hooked.

They’re practically microscopic (when I first saw it in person, I thought it was some kind of joke), but they do, in fact, expand to fit quite a bit of stuff — even my clunker of a smartphone. Fortunately, my camera — also on the larger side — fits in there beautifully, so I no longer have to worry about how I’m going to capture all those magical moments when I run the Disney Princess Half Marathon in February.

Best of all, it doesn’t bounce, move, or shift at all when I’m running…you can hardly even tell you’re wearing what’s essentially a mini fanny pack (but way cooler). Also, they’re affordable (around $20) and come in lots of different colors and patterns, even polka dots — my fave!

3.) Bondi Band

I recently won two Bondi Bands in a giveaway on Road Runner Girl’s blog, and just tried these out for the first time yesterday. To say I’m a heavy sweater would be an understatement — no matter what the weather’s like, I’m literally dripping wet at the end of a run, and I perspire more than any of the women (and most of the men, for that matter!) in my kickboxing classes. It’s gross. I’ve been wearing my RunDisney hats all summer (I may or may not have ordered all four…), which do have the added benefit of shielding my face from the sun while absorbing excess sweat, but the Bondi Band is truly the answer to my prayers.

It’s essentially a large, thin headband made of sweat-wicking material; like the Spibelt, they  come in all sorts of colors and styles, but the best part is that they’re super effective. It covers almost my entire forehead, which means no slipping or re-adjusting, and it was lightweight enough that I didn’t even remember I was wearing it — it’ll fit nicely under my helmet when I’m biking. Best of all, I wore it on a mid-day run on a humid August day, and didn’t get so much as a drop of sweat in my eyes!

I’m ordering more today — and they’re going to be a welcome replacement to the stinky old men’s sweat band I’ve been using for kickboxing class, too! I’ll just have to stick to basic black, though — the karate master would surely kick me out of class for wearing something like these fun and fashionable designs.

4.) Sneakers

Of course, there is no running without sneakers. Well, unless you’re one of those minimalist barefoot runners, I suppose (still can’t get on board with that one). I’m a size 10 wide, so when it comes to choosing running sneakers, it’s basically a matter of finding a store that even carries my size. I rarely have a choice of style or color…I’m lucky to find more than one pair of running sneakers in a wide-width in any given store.

I was wearing Nikes for ages, but finally hauled myself to my local running store for a proper fitting, and it turns out they were doing nothing for my pronation type — or, at least that’s what the sales associate said after watching me stroll around the store in my socks.

They carried precisely one shoe that would accommodate my massive feet, and I’ve been in love with Saucony ever since. I just got these for my birthday!

5.) Garmin Forerunner

This was my first real piece of running gear (other than sneakers). Anyone who has even the slightest interest in tracking their speed and distance — which is pretty much all of us — has to invest in one of these watches. They’re definitely on the pricey side (in the neighborhood of $200), but I’ve been using the 405cX for a few years now with no issues.

Short of counting laps on a track (boring) or timing yourself with stopwatches (tedious), it’s pretty hard to train for any kind of race, whether it’s a 5K or marathon, without tracking your pace and distance…or, even if you’re not training for races, just to keep tabs on your overall improvement. Some of the watches are even compatible with heart rate monitors, for those of us counting our calories in and calories out!

6.) Ipod

I can’t run without music. So last but certainly not least, I never head out for a run without my iPod. I don’t run in the dark, and I always try to stick to well-populated areas, so I figure it’s okay to jam out while I get my sweat on.

I’m partial to the iPod nano…pretty much because it’s small and has a clip that attaches right to my top, and don’t have to fuss with arm bands.
What are some of your running essentials?

But there’s one saying that always seems to get me. Recently, he ended class by saying: “If you have self-discipline, you can have anything.” And now that I am officially training for a half marathon, and — I don’t want to jinx it — the scale is budging ever-so-slowly in the right direction again, I can say with absolute certainty that self-discipline is the absolute most important quality I’ve had to develop along my health and fitness journey.

As I’m sure any runner would agree, it takes a special kind of self-discipline to pull yourself out of bed before the sun rises to log miles, or to lace up your sneakers after a grueling day at the office. And anyone who has ever attempted to lose weight knows that there’s often nothing standing between you and that extra slice or pizza or a heaping bowl of ice cream except your own ability to tell yourself no.

To me, self-discipline is about saying you’re going to do something — and then actually doing it. It’s about making yourself a priority, and keeping your own promises. It’s about setting a goal and not allowing yourself to quit. It’s about developing the strength to deny yourself something that may be easier or more fun — e.g. skipping your run to lounge on the couch, opting for the cheeseburger instead of the salad — because you know it will only hinder your own success.

As someone who used to tip the scales at over 260 pounds, I can tell you exactly what it’s like to not have any self-discipline at all. While I was always an over-achiever in the classroom, when it came to my health, laziness was the name of the game. If I didn’t “feel like” doing something, I didn’t do it. If I had a sudden craving for a milkshake, off to Baskin-Robbins I went. I’d promise myself I wasn’t going to overeat at a restaurant, but then proceed to order the greasiest, most unhealthy option on the menu — fettucine alfredo was my go-to meal of choice — and polish off the entire plate. My short-lived attempts to exercise were always lackluster at best — I could stick to a walking regimen for about a week, tops, before allowing myself to quit.

In some ways, I’m sure it sounds fun to do (or, in my case, not do) whatever you want, whenever you want. There’s a certain freedom that comes with giving up on yourself and having no goals. By the time I started college, I had completely resigned myself to a life of obesity; I figured I was “meant” to be fat, so I did absolutely nothing to stop piling on the pounds. It’s just oh-so-easy easy to stuff your face with whatever happens to be in front of you, and never have to worry about the ramifications to your health.

At first, developing self-discipline meant having the strength to say “no” to the temptation to skip a workout or eat something that I knew would come back to haunt me on the scale. But these days, the ability to set my own goals and stick to them has proven more rewarding that I ever thought possible…and I’m finding that it’s getting easier.

Last week, I earned my brown-tip belt in Muay Thai, which in my school is granted after approximately 18 months of training. This week, after returning from a weekend getaway (more on that later), I went out and pushed my body through five miles. Every morning, I plop myself in front of my laptop in my home office, even though the TV is just steps away and sometimes I just don’t feel like working.

Sometimes, self-discipline means sacrifice. But to me, developing self-discipline has proven the only way to really have everything I’ve ever wanted in life.

What are some ways you’ve practiced self-discipline to reach your goals?