This weekend is my birthday, and I’ll be turning the big 3-0. *GASP*

Yes, that’s right, ladies and gentlemen. On Sunday, I will no longer be a twenty-something. I will be 30.

For the past couple of years, the prospect of turning 30 has given me all kinds of anxiety. Truth be told, I’ve been terrified of it. Ever since I turned 25, I’ve had the same thought on my birthday every single year — “okay, I’m only 27, I’m not 30 yet…okay, I’m 28 now, but I’m still 2 whole years away from 30…”

Celebrating my 25th in my favorite place on Earth.

It wasn’t until the last few months that I decided that I’m okay with turning 30. And I’ll tell you why. (Other than the fact that there’s not a whole hell of a lot I can do about it, haha.)

It’s because I am in a better place now than I was at ANY point in my 20s. I am happier, healthier, and more self-confident that I have been EVER. In my whole life. There is absolutely no question about that.

A whole lot of things happened to me in my 20s. Some of those things were good – like, you know, running a marathon. But there was also plenty of not-so-good – like having an 11-year relationship with my high school sweetheart completely fall to pieces, finding myself alone for the first time since I was a teenager, not being able to afford my rent after he moved out of our crappy apartment, and digging myself into all kinds of debt. Good times, right?

But despite all of the typical 20-something drama, I can’t stop thinking about how, in so many ways, I am a completely different person now than I was 10 years ago.

My 21st birthday

I didn’t intend for this post to be all about my weight loss, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that it was, by far, the greatest accomplishment of my 20s. It changed my life forever. I began my 20s weighing well over 260 pounds, and I was MISERABLE.

Though this blog has lately become more of a running blog than anything else, it all started as a weight loss diary to chronicle just how freakin’ hard it is to lose weight…and actually keep it off.

My first progress photo…20 pounds down.

I spent my entire life as an obese person. Not overweight, not chunky, but obese. But when I was 22, I stepped on a scale for the first time in I couldn’t even tell you how many years, and a little lightbulb went off. I realized that if I didn’t change my life, that I could easily be 300 pounds by the time I was 30 – if not sooner.

So, I did it. After countless years of yo-yo dieting and eating my feelings and gaining weight and losing weight and gaining it back again, I promised myself that I was going to do it the right way and keep the weight off once and for all.

My last progress photo…90 pounds down.

I changed my relationship with food and I fell in love with working out (and, eventually, running). And I didn’t just become another weight loss success story. I became an athlete.

Of course, I did some other pretty awesome stuff in my 20s, too.

Like…

I studied abroad in England for a semester in college.

Oh, Wroxton, how I miss you.

And I saw some of the most AMAZINGLY beautiful places.

Ahhh, Venice…

I graduated from college (Fairleigh Dickinson, woot woot).

(Plus, I was a super huge nerd and was the features editor for the campus newspaper and won all kinds of geeky academic awards, haha.)

After a one-year paid insternship at New Jersey Monthly right after graduation, I had (many) unsuccessful attempts at landing a full-time job in the magazine industry. I was stupid enough to work for free as a peon intern at several different magazines for a year or two before I decided to stop kidding myself and follow my dream. I wanted to be a freelance writer.

The idea of going into business for myself was scary as hell, but it’s something I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wanted to do. And, you know what? I actually friggin’ did it. I won’t be on the Fortune 500 list anytime soon, but I love what I do and I love working from home (in my jammies, lol), and I know the possibilities are endless. Meanwhile, I built my piano teaching business from 2 students to 20+ students, so I get to take a break from staring at my computer screen and hang out with kids every afternoon…and teach them how to play Disney songs.

My first byline, for New Jersey Business magazine — still write for them!

I made friends that are still some of my best buds today.

I also made some four-legged friends.

Riley as a puppy!

My little baby, Miles. <3

And I became best friends with my little sister. We pretty much hated each other for most of our young lives, and now I can’t imagine what I’d do without her.

Nothing says sisterly love like a little Frozen.

I earned my bo-black belt in Thai Kickboxing. I remember how intimidating it was at first — even though I had lost the weight, I still saw myself as “the fat girl” who didn’t belong in any sort of fitness class, let alone martial arts! But I faced my fear of being laughed out of the place, I fell in love with it, and I can’t believe how far I’ve come over the past 5 years.

I earned my black belt in Thai Kickboxing (and got to learn how to fight *real* people for the first time, lol).

I decided to give Taekwondo a try, even though I had pretty much convinced myself that I would NEVER be able to do it. And now I’m dangerously close to testing for my black belt.

I faced an entirely different fear and decided to sign up for my first 5K. It was that day that I realized that nobody was going to point and laugh at me and tell me that I should go back to the treadmill. I felt like a “real” runner for the first time.

I ran my first 10K. And almost cried. I couldn’t believe that I ran 6 WHOLE MILES!

I ran my first half marathon. It still amazes me to think of how terrified I was of not finishing. Even after all those months of training, I had no confidence in myself. I was sure I’d never see that finish line.

There are no words…

And then I REALLY did the impossible. Me, this former fat girl, attempting to run a marathon? There are some days I still can’t believe I did it…and as part of the insane Dopey Challenge, no less!

Now I’m training for my sixth marathon. So that I can have this experience again. Running NYCM was a MAJOR highlight of the last decade, that’s for sure.

Last but certainly not least :::drumroll, please::: I met this guy.

Our first race.

A year later, we moved in together. We’ve already had so many adventures over the past two years, and I didn’t even know it was possible to be this happy. <3

The moral of the story? If there’s one lesson I’m taking with me as I say good-bye to my 20s, it’s that I am so, SO much stronger than I ever thought possible. I am a fighter, and I am capable of absolutely anything. I don’t have to be afraid anymore, because no matter what it is…I know I can do it. Period.

It’s incredible to think about where I was — physically and mentally — in my early 20s to where I am now. It’s honestly hard for me to remember what it was like living life as “the old me,” but I know she is always with me. She likes to come back and haunt me when I find myself struggling the most…like, say, that last 10K of a marathon, haha.

I still have my own personal battles with body image, and it’s an ongoing journey to accept my body the way it is now — loose skin, stretch marks, and all — after so many years of abusing it with yo-yo dieting and being completely sedentary. But I’m closer now than I’ve ever been to being truly comfortable in my own skin, and that’s something I never, EVER thought would happen.

Posing for photos in a bathing suit? UNHEARD OF.

Now that I’m (almost!) 30, I have to admit that, despite all of the mistakes I’ve made along the way, I am proud of myself. I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I’m proud of everything I’ve accomplished, and everything I’ve learned along the way. I’m proud that the big thighs I once hated and tried so hard to hide have carried me over countless finish lines and kicked my way through years of intense martial arts training. I’m proud that I managed to break a lifetime of poor eating habits and completely transform my relationship with food.

I’m a runner now, so that means I can lots and lots of pizza.

Most of all, I’m proud that even when things get hard, I know I can count on myself to never, EVER give up.

One of the hardest things I’ve ever done!

I am so appreciative of my health and my fitness and my career and my relationships, and looking back, I can honestly say I’m happy with the way things have turned out so far. I can’t wait to see what my 30s have in store for me.

Did you freak out/are you freaked out about turning 30?

Mon., July 20: Taekwondo class

Tue., July 21: 3 miles

Wed., July 22: Downtown Westfield 5K and Pizza Extravaganza (recap here!)

Running + pizza = OH YES

Thur., July 23: 5 miles

Fri., July 24: Taekwondo class and graduation

Sat., July 26: Rest

Sun., July 27: 7 miles

Total weekly mileage: 18 miles

I feel as though I’m settling into my new routine of running 4 days a week again. I’m not saying it’s easy, especially since the temperatures have been heating up here and running in 85 or 90+ degrees makes me absolutely miserable…but I do feel like my body is “remembering” how to run and I’m adjusting to the mileage pretty quickly.

Hot messes.

Last weekend’s long run was another tough one, though; we didn’t start early enough (what a surprise), so by the time we were done, it was pretty warm. It’s taking us a long time to finish our long runs because we’re constantly stopping to guzzle water/Powerade, take a quick walk break or stretch, etc. Plus, of course, our pace is nowhere near what it “should” be because the heat/humidity is TOTALLY cramping our style.

This dog follows me around everywhere, what can I say? lol

But Todd and I’ve both decided to take our time and ease into this training program. We both fell off the running wagon for a while after the New Jersey Marathon in April, and don’t want to risk injury/burnout by trying to do too much too soon — especially in this heat! In fact, he rearranged our training plan so we have one extra week of building our base in the beginning, and that’s why our first three long runs have progressed slowly, from 6 miles to 7 miles to this weekend’s 8 miles.

7 miles done…then it’s time for the puppy’s walk.

My continued struggle, of course, is balancing running with Taekwondo. Last Friday, I was promoted to brown belt, and the form we had to learn was killer. Now I’m performing all kinds of jumps and consecutive kicks and low stances that I’ve never done before, and quite frankly, my legs are pretty furious at me already.

But I’m just one belt away from beginning the quite rigorous process of testing for my black belt — which is a HUUUUUGE deal for me — so I won’t let myself lose momentum now. I’m an advanced student now and my classes are held later in the evenings, so I can actually make at least 2-3 classes per week. So you figure at least 4 days of running per week plus 2-3 karate classes, and you might just ask WHY THE HELL I DO THIS TO MYSELF. I’m trying to take at least one rest day per week, but I know that’s not going to be enough as I start ramping up the mileage. And when I attempt to run AND take a karate class in the same day, well, let’s just say it doesn’t feel so good, haha.

The moral of the story is that I am madly in love with both running and Taekwondo. I hate that my chosen forms of physical fitness both happen to be so hard on the legs, but that’s just the way it is. I promised myself that I would be better about listening to my body this time around, so if and when it becomes physically impossible for me to train for the marathon AND focus on karate then I know I will have to pull back on the Taekwondo a bit.

At the end of the day, the New York City Marathon is my utmost priority. How could it not be?!

Can. Not. Wait.

But, for now, I guess I should make best friends with that bleepin’ foam roller, huh?

Is there another activity that you balance with running?

 Do you feel you give your body enough “rest” while training for a half/full?

If you haven’t already entered, today is the LAST DAY for my PRO Compression marathon socks giveaway! You can check out my review and enter the drawing HERE, and I’ll announce the winner tomorrow!

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! In the spirit of the holiday, I thought it would be a perfect time to share my recap from this weekend’s 10-mile race: the St. Paddy’s Day 10-Miler.

The race is hosted by the Freehold Area Running Club, and I ran it two years ago as one of my first longer distance races. I remembered it being pretty hilly, so I honestly didn’t go in with huge expectations. Because I suck on hills. Like, REALLY suck.

However, I also knew that if I planned to sign up for this year’s Wine and Dine Half Marathon (spoiler alert…I am already in, and as of a few minutes before 12pm this afternoon, so is Todd!), that I was going to need a new time to submit for corral placement…since my old PR has officially expired in the eyes of runDisney. I’m hoping that this month’s Love Run will give me a shiny new PR to submit, but you never know what can happen…I know that there are all kinds of variables that can affect my performance that day.

So, I figured I’d use this race as a test run to gauge how well all of my recent “speedwork” has been working out for me, and to use as a “back-up” time to submit just in case my upcoming half marathons don’t go as planned. Plus, it was a cool and windy morning — it was in the 40′s, but when the wind would gust, it felt pretty frigid. Which made for FANTASTIC running temperatures, if you ask me!

It’s held at a park in Freehold, and packet pick-up was easy and well organized. This year’s shirt was cotton and long-sleeved, so my original idea to wear the race shirts over our tech shirts to match went out the window. So we used their handy dandy bag check for our race shirt and the few goodies they gave out so we didn’t have to make another trip to the car, which was a nice perk.

However, this particular club is known for being a little on the stricter side — i.e. all of their race materials threaten that you will basically be tarred and feathered in a public square if you so much as dare run with headphones or a stroller or a canine or, of course, a costume. So a volunteer gave me sort of a snarky comment as I was picking up my packet; it was something along the lines of, “you may have trouble running today, young lady, because our race director is very strict.” Uhhh…since when is a plastic necklace and a headband a “costume?” Everything else is legitimate running attire. So, I didn’t really care for that.

There was some debate on our “strategy” for this race. Todd and I have two completely different approaches — he always starts conservatively and has no problem negative splitting, whereas I have really NEVER done that. I always go out like a bat out of hell when the gun goes off, and then when my pace inevitably slows in the later miles, I rest assured knowing I have some time “in the bank,” if you will. But I told him I was really going to try it his way this time, especially since I haven’t been running so fast lately and I couldn’t necessarily count on holding my faster pace for any significant length of time before running out of steam.

When the race started, I went out way too fast for a few seconds before coming to my senses and letting Todd catch up. I then forced myself to find a “comfortable” pace and fall into a steady rhythm, which was somewhere around a 9:20-9:30 pace.

“Gee, maybe I should slow down a little…?” Photo credit: FARCNJ.org

The race takes you through lots of residential areas, parks, and, of course, over plenty of rolling hills…so I knew I’d have to conserve some energy in order to make it to the finish line. Plus, I felt really unsure of myself because I honestly have been running at paces at least a solid minute-per-mile slower in all of my recent races. In a matter of a year, I managed to go from averaging a sub 2:10 half marathon to being lucky to finish under 2:25. I’ve had the hardest time balancing my CONSTANT marathon training with the ability to train (and race!) at my “old” pace, which used to be somewhere in the realm of a 9:15/minute mile.

And, sure enough, it was within the first couple of miles that I felt just how dead my legs were. The previous week’s workouts consisted of my 14-mile long run, a 5-mile run, a 6-mile run, a 3-mile run, and two Taekwondo classes, and good lord, was I FEELING it. I was still maintaining my ideal pace, but I was struggling to do so…not because I was sucking wind or anything (which was a pleasant surprise!) but because my legs just felt so freakin’ heavy. And then we started approaching the first of several rolling hills, and I worried about coming anywhere close to what I would consider a “good” time.

But I figured I’d give it my absolute best shot. The course is pretty boring, and there really is no spectator support whatsoever, which really made me appreciate just how important they are! It kind of felt like running our usual long run with about 250 of our closest friends. I was feeling grumpy by the halfway mark because even though the clock time said 47:30 — which is exactly what I could have hoped for — I felt my legs were getting even heavier and I was nervous about this whole “negative split” concept. There were only a handful of water stops, so I took my Honey Stinger at mile 4 and tossed some water down my throat at the others, only stopping to stretch my legs once for a few seconds…and, as of late, I’ve been walking through water stops, so it was kind of new for me to not have any sort of break.

Moral of the story? I quickly fell victim to my usual pattern of self-doubt and frustration and the assumption that there was no WAY I’d be able to pick up the pace in the second half of the race. I’m a real hoot during a race, let me tell you (just ask Todd, lol).

But then by mile 7, something pretty awesome happened. I realized that despite slowing down a little bit on a few hills, I was still maintaining an average 9:20ish pace, and I thought that maybe — just MAYBE — I could actually pull this off. So I tried my very best to speed up just a little in that last 5K, and Todd did, too…so I did whatever I could to keep up with him. My Garmin showed that we were right around a 9:05-9:10 pace by miles 8 and 9, and I somehow managed to push it to an 8:55 in mile 10. Todd was a few strides ahead of me, so when I saw the finish line in the distance, I started sprinting to keep up with him so we could cross together.

For some strange reason, he took that to mean that I wanted to “race” him, so he sped up, too…and he ended up beating me by a freakin’ second. The handful of spectators and volunteers at the finish line really seemed to enjoy our action-packed finish, LOL.

Photo credit: FARCNJ.ORG

Plus, I saw that the clock was approaching 1:34…which was downright shocking to me because I knew that meant that I had, IN FACT, successfully negative split…and that I wasn’t too far off from my last results at this race, which was a clock time of 1:33.

Our official finish time was 1:33:53, which given the not-so-flat course and the fact that I was running on dead marathon training legs was about the best I could have imagined. And I was downright shocked that I came SO close to my previous finish time on this course.

So we celebrated by guzzling some Gatorade and going to check out the post-race goodies. And much to our delight, they had HOT DOGS. I’m not a huge fan of hot dogs in general, and I’ve never had them after a race before…but for some reason, it was the most DELICIOUS hot dog I’ve ever had in my life. Even now, days later, Todd is STILL talking about that damn hot dog. I think we’ve found our new favorite post-race food, haha.

Plus, they had hot soup, which tasted heavenly as my body temperature began to plummet, in addition to the usual fare like bagels and bananas. They also had beer (but neither of us drink it).

So we stuffed our faces for a little while, took some pictures, and watched part of the awards ceremony, where they handed out little shamrock plaques and gnome statues, haha.

Overall, I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised and quite proud of my performance. It was an awesome feeling to know that all of my hard efforts on training runs these past two months have been paying off, and I now know that a sub-2:05 half marathon (and, someday, maybe even a sub-2!) is something that is well within my reach once again. I don’t have to be happy to just “finish” a race any more, and I NEED to learn how to develop even just an ounce of confidence in my abilities when it comes to setting and reaching time goals.

It has been a long time that I’ve felt truly proud and excited by that finish time on the clock, and this race helped give me a big chunk of my confidence back. I’m hoping that with a bit more rest (and maybe a skipped karate class or two) in the days leading up to my next half marathon later this month — which is supposed to be a nice, FLAT course! — that I might just surprise myself even more. It was definitely the hardest I’ve pushed myself in a while, and the fact that I didn’t die (or really struggle beyond my usual leg fatigue) means that I have to be doing something right!

 Have you ever run a race for St. Patrick’s Day?

Have you ever performed significantly better than your expectations in a race?

Last Friday night was my Taekwondo graduation…

…and I was FINALLY promoted to red belt! Which officially makes me an “advanced” student. And it means that my new combinations and forms have lots of jumping kicks and all kinds of other cool stuff that will probably make me pull my back out or something. But it LOOKS pretty awesome!

Since we got walloped with another several inches of snow during yet another storm yesterday (UGH), I also thought it was an appropriate time to share our adventures from last weekend’s long run of 12 miles. You know, one one of the OTHER days this week that it snowed…and snowed…and snowed.

We took our run to the streets of Cranford since we were in the area to have dinner with my family. It was my old hood before I moved in with Todd, and sometimes I miss running there terribly…there are lots of parks and always other runners out and a cute little downtown area. And, frankly, it’s nice to not have to worry about getting lost…which is something that STILL happens to me on a fairly regular basis since I moved, haha.

But, of course, it just HAD to start snowing literally the second we started running (it wasn’t supposed to start until the afternoon, so we should have had plenty of time)!

What began only as some light flurries pretty much transformed into a full-on snow storm by the time we were done with mile 6, so we fought our way through the rapidly-accumulating snow. In my mind, we were already halfway done, so there was no way I was packing it in and turning around at that point!

Plus, I still was enjoying running in my old neighborhood, and the parks looked pretty spectacular blanketed in all of the snow. Honestly, I didn’t so much mind the cold…but it’s not always fun to have icy water whipping you in the face or your eyelashes getting stuck together. It definitely kept things interesting!

I was excited because I was keeping a pretty solid 9:45/mile pace for the majority of the run — and I felt GOOD — so it was a little frustrating to have to slow down as the road conditions became icier and more slippery.

But we did it!

And some of us looked like this afterwards. LOL. Gotta love frozen eyebrows and eyelashes.

I was happy that we still managed to keep up a pace of about 10:15-10:30 in the last couple of miles as the snow started piling up. Not only did I feel my feet slipping everywhere, but trying to actually RUN through even just a few inches of snow accumulation is pretty freakin’ tough on the legs! We finished with right around 2 hours on the Garmin, which was what I was hoping for.

And we got to visit with the little Nelson family snow dog, who was very anxious to come outside and greet us upon our return.

Anyway, I knew you guys would appreciate the fact that Cranford also happens to be home to the most AMAZING SNOWMAN EVER. I’ve seen it driving by, but still hadn’t gotten a chance to take a really close look. So what better time to check it out than in the middle of a long run?

There’s this local guy who makes these gargantuan snow sculptures every time it snows (which means he’s been pretty busy lately!), and needless to say, his latest creation has been getting a lot of attention. Like, in the form of people stopping their cars and holding up traffic on the busy road in front of his house, or families walking up with their kids to pose for photos with it.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen…it’s a GIANT OLAF!

I knew you all would appreciate this as much as I did. I am OBSESSED with this snowman! And, yes, the first time we ran by and wanted to take a picture, there was actually a LINE of people waiting…but when we came back later (somewhere in mile 10), I guess all the snow scared the people away, so we finally got to take our turn.

I’m always looking for distractions during a long run, and I think it’s safe to say we got it! We have 14 miles on the calendar for this Sunday, but thankfully it’s supposed to warm up this weekend. You know, to, like, 35 degrees.

Do you want to build a snowman?

(Haha, okay, I’m corny)…here are your REAL questions:

Have you ever/do you ever run in the snow?

What’s the coolest/most unusual thing you’ve ever seen on a long run?

Better late than never, right?

I usually spend the majority of January prepping for the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend (half recap HERE, full recap HERE, in case you missed ‘em!) and the following weeks basking in all the post-Disney happiness.

WDW Marathon Weekend = A SUCCESS
(P.S. Anyone else heartbroken that the hat is almost completely gone?!)

It’s always nice to kick off a new year with a marathon, but now that January is over, I thought it was time to get serious about the rest of my goals for this year.

And I am happy to announce that I am officially registered for yet another marathon.

Marathon #5 will be…

::::::::::::::::::::drumroll, please::::::::::::::::::::

www.thenewjerseymarathon.com

(And, just for the record, this was all Todd’s idea…so if anything goes horribly wrong, it’s my full intention to blame him.)

Honestly, I wasn’t planning to run another marathon this soon. I figured I’d take a little bit of a breather, maybe do some half marathons, and gear up for another bout of marathon training in the late summer/fall.

But I’ve already done the New York Marathon…might as well run one that takes place literally 20 minutes from our house.

One of my first half marathons was the Long Branch Half Marathon back in 2013, which is part of the New Jersey Marathon — so it’ll be kind of cool to return and “go all the way” this time. And to be honest, I have a hard time finding the motivation to get out there and run if I don’t have a goal, so I think a spring marathon is probably the best way to keep my momentum going!

2013 Long Branch Half…seems SO long ago.

Also? I want a sub-five. BAD.

I KNOW I could have done better in New York. I KNOW I could have pushed harder in my training…and I definitely KNOW that I wasn’t properly prepared for the course/conditions. I am positive that I can do better, and seeing how this course is supposedly pretty pancake-like (and it will hopefully still be fairly cool in April), I’m hoping I can finally see a “4″ in front of my marathon time!

But in addition to training for a marathon — AGAIN — I’ve also set my sights on some other health/fitness/running goals I hope to accomplish this year. And what better way to stay accountable than to announce them to the world?

1.) Get Fast Again. Okay, so I was never really “fast,” per se’. But ever since I started focusing on marathons, my average pace has climbed from somewhere in the 9:15 area to more like a 10:30. My half marathon times have jumped from around a 2:05 to a 2:25. And for the past several months, I’ve felt nothing but discouraged and sluggish. It’s hard to feel motivated to run when you feel like you’re running through molasses all the time. My legs are always tired, and I couldn’t/wouldn’t find the energy to do any sort of speedwork.

I want my “old” paces back, and I want them back NOW.

Here’s the thing, though…I kinda sorta have no flippin’ clue how to go about this. I used to just naturally run a 10ish-minute/mile, and my pace just improved with consistency alone. And that was that. I have to be honest and say I haven’t done a whole lot of speedwork. And definitely not in conjunction with training for a marathon.

This past weekend, I thought I’d push myself a little harder on some shorter distances, just to see what I could do…and what it would feel like to try to run faster again. And for the first time in forever (*cue Frozen song*) I managed to run a 3-miler in 30 minutes, and then the next day, I challenged myself a little harder to run 4 miles in under 40 minutes.

I was right around a 9:10 for the first mile, then a 9:20, then a 9:30, and a 9:40. I haven’t seen those kinds of paces in probably a year. Granted, it was not easy…those paces used to feel completely comfortable to me, and this time, I was sucking some serious wind. But I surprised myself. I CAN do it. It’s not going to be easy, but I hope that if I start pushing myself a little harder again, I can get back to where I was.

2.) Set a New Half PR. So, I have a confession. My half marathon PR? It’s 2:03, and it’s from my very first half marathon (I’m not counting the Princess Half, because I did NOT run that one for time). It was way back in April 2013.

And that is just SAD.

“Runapalooza” in Asbury Park: my half marathon PR. TWO YEARS AGO.

Since then, I’ve come close (that year I ran a bunch of halfs in 2:04, 2:07, 2:10…) but never actually beat it. This infuriates me to no end because you’d think that with all the finish lines I’ve crossed since then, I should have seen some improvement from my first race EVER, right?!

You know how I said I wanted a sub-five marathon? Well, I want a sub-two half marathon just as badly.

Clearly, I’m not training properly — and I will be the FIRST to admit that — and that’s something that needs to change pronto. I’m proud of all of my accomplishments, don’t get me wrong…but at the same time, I’m tired of “just” being happy to finish. I want to get better. I want to know that all the hours I pour into running are actually paying off.

In other news, I just realized that my half PR will no longer be useable when I apply for corral placement in Disney races. We *MAY* be running the Wine & Dine Half Marathon this year, and proof of time has to be from a race after November 2013. And I really don’t have any times from last year that are even remotely close to 2 hours. *Insert panic here.* You know I don’t run Disney race for time, but I DO want the best corral placement I can have…mainly so I can get to the characters (and the post-race PARTAY) a little faster.

Which means I have no choice but to stop resting on my laurels and actually get out there and RACE again. The plan is to take this month to start slowly building up some mileage (I’m using a beginner marathon plan for now), but mainly focus on speed for the shorter runs and trying to improve my longer run performance (more consistent paces, etc.). I hope to run a race or two in March to see what I can do…since I’m going to need the flattest course possible and cooler temperatures if I have any hopes of performing well.

Getting our marathon training started…on snow and ice. Gotta love it.

We’re thinking of possibly doing The Love Run in Philadelphia, and there’s also a local 10-miler for St. Patrick’s Day (which I’ve also done in the past) but I recall it being nothing but hills…which is no bueno for me.

I’m realistic enough to know that my next half isn’t going to be a PR, but I’d like to get a little bit closer to 2:00. That way, I can take most of March and April to continue training for the marathon…and then maybe try another half or two (any of you New Jerseyans ever run the Wildwood Half?!) afterwards.

3.) Tackle a Tri. I’ve been talking about this one for, like, ever. I’d love to see what I can do in a multi-sport race. I love cycling, but between running and karate, I never feel like I can squeeze it into my weekly training regimen. And because of my fear of the swimming portion — I CAN swim, but I’m definitely not the strongest swimmer — I keep putting it off.

But I looked into a few local triathlons, like the Jersey Girl Triathlon, which seems perfect for a beginner like me. It’s a 3-mile run, 11-mile bike ride, and 300-yard swim. I haven’t signed up yet, so nothing is official. But I figure I’d already be well trained to take on a 3-mile run (duh), and whenever I do cycle it’s always for at least 10 miles, so I’d just have to become a little more consistent.

As for the swimming…well…I figure it’s a great form of cross-training, and I won’t be racing in the late spring/early summer (TOO HOT), so I can focus on improving my performance in the water.

4.) Drop a Few Lbs. I haven’t really written about this here yet. But I’m sure ya’ll can see that I don’t look quite the same as the picture in my blog header, which was taken two years ago. Ever since I started running marathons, I’ve watched my body change. I’m still wearing the same size and everything, but jeans that used to be loose just fit me now, some of my old running shorts are a little too tight for comfort, and some of my dresses are showing a bit more in my mid-section than I’d care to see. I’ve watched my legs and arms continue to get a little bulkier, which I do attribute partially to the Thai/Taekwondo and running — and that’s fine — but I find myself feeling self-conscious about my body again. And I hate it.

I had finally reached a point where I felt good about my body. Then I become more physically active than I’ve ever been, run a couple of marathons…and start to put weight back on? Where’s the fairness in THAT?!

I’ve been struggling to strike the balance between eating what my body needs to fuel my running — particularly for marathon training — and yet not overdoing it. I struggle with the “rungries” constantly, and that assumption that because I ran for 2 or 3 or 4 hours on a Sunday, that I can eat whatever I want. I haven’t weighed myself in more than 2 years, nor do I even a little bit care what my current weight is. I spent my entire life chained to that scale, and allowed a stupid little plastic box to crush my self-esteem time and time again.

All I care about is feeling comfortable in my own skin again, so my goal for this year is to get back to where I was, mentally speaking. I don’t plan to go back to counting POINTs again, but I know enough about portion sizes and how much I was eating when I lost the weight to simply tighten things up a bit and be more careful about what I’m putting into my body.

5.) Cook More. To that end, we’ve been making a more serious effort to cook in this house. Both of us pretty much suck at it, and I have absolutely no patience whatsoever in the kitchen. Truth be told, I really don’t enjoy cooking AT ALL. I know how to read nutrition labels, so I’ve always tried to pick the healthiest, most “natural” stuff to stock the kitchen…but we’ve been relying on frozen conveniences just a tad too often.

So I’ve turned back to Weight Watchers, so to speak, and we’re making an effort to try at least 2-3 new recipes a week from their database (my mom still has an active membership, so I just log-in under her name…shhhhhhh). I like it because the recipes are genuinely good (and good-for-you!) and you can filter them by prep time, difficulty level, etc…and there’s no shortage of main meal options that even an idiot like me can put together. And I’ve ordered a few cookbooks from Amazon. So, we’ll see what happens.

20 minutes ’til dinner? That’s what I’m talkin’ about…

6.) Become a brown belt. I’m still plugging away at Taekwondo. Now that I’m no longer considered a beginner, the higher belt level classes tend to be a little later in the evening — which means I can squeeze more of them into my weekly schedule.

I’m still way behind the other adults I joined with (who can make several classes per week), and that can be discouraging sometimes. And as much as I love martial arts, I know the wear-and-tear it puts on my legs isn’t always ideal for marathon training! But I’m doing the best I can to make it to class and work on mastering my curriculum for each belt…so, hopefully, I’ll be testing for my red belt soon, and maybe even my brown belt by the end of 2015! Patience is a virtue, right?

How are you doing on your 2015 goals?

Who has tips on speedwork for me?!

Northeast peeps…what are some of your favorite local half marathons?

I’m officially a black belt in Muay Thai kickboxing.

For the past couple of months, if I wasn’t out running, then I was at my karate school. The announcement of the black belt testing for Thai candidates definitely wasn’t ideal timing for me; as I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been running myself ragged trying to get to classes and squeeze in sparring practice AND log my weekly training runs for the marathon next month.

I’ve been EXHAUSTED, and there’s a part of me that is very, very glad this test is over and I can focus on training for NYCM. (And get back to my Taekwondo classes!)

Especially since this past weekend, I got to run 19 miles and skip a rest day in favor of my Thai test. I also feel I should mention that because my test was on Sunday, I had to run my 19 miles on Saturday.

IN. THE. FREAKIN’. POURING. RAIN.

I generally don’t mind running in the rain. I will take a wet, rainy run over a hot, humid run ANY DAY. But this wasn’t just rain. What started out as a misty drizzle in the early miles of my run turned into several periods of downpours.

I was soaked by mile 6, and the park where I was running was starting to flood. I stepped in several massive puddles that completely soaked my socks and sneakers. And even though the park is normally filled with runners on a weekend morning, I was pretty much all alone with the exception of a handful of fellow diehard runners. We all just kind of nodded to each other, as if to say, “yeah…we’ve all lost our damn minds.”

But I kept plodding along. I really, really couldn’t let myself quit, and I didn’t want to have to postpone another long run. By mile 10, I couldn’t take the discomfort of my wet socks any longer, so I took a brief pause to drive back home and change into dry running clothes. Then I headed right back out to finish the last 9 miles close to home.

Up until mile 15 or so, I was dealing with the crappy weather and still felt pretty strong. But the last couple of miles were a bit of a struggle. My shoes were soaked again, and the inserts came loose and were sliding all over the place, so I kept having to take my sneakers off to adjust them. (Like I don’t have enough problems when I’m trying to run 19 miles!) And, of course, my body was starting to feel it — between all the karate and the running, my legs have been DEAD lately.

BUT…I did it. And in my mind, that’s all that counts.

Running in the rain got pretty annoying after awhile, but I have to admit, it made me feel a little bit like a badass. (Not to mention a moron).

Speaking of feeling like a badass…I woke up on Sunday with only minimal soreness from the previous day’s long run, and still had plenty of energy to get up and complete my Thai kickboxing test (which was a bit of a disappointment, because I don’t think the master actually delivered the intensity that the class usually demands).

I was disappointed in how rushed the test felt, especially the sparring; I’ve been training so hard, and he really only had us out there for a couple of minutes. It was the first time I had to “gear up” and fight in front of people…but I have to say, I loved it. It’s such an adrenaline rush, and it was so cool to be able to demonstrate all of the things I’ve learned over the past couple of years.

I felt my partner and I both did great, especially given our limited sparring experience, and it’s something I plan to continue. But maybe after the marathon.

Anyway, I spent a lot of time this weekend thinking about how far I’ve come. I wandered into a local karate school with a Groupon for three Thai kickboxing classes way back in 2011. I remember feeling so awkward and intimidated, and wasn’t sure if I was “in shape” enough to keep up with the rest of the class.

It only took one class, and I was hooked. I was pushed to my physical limits right from that first day, and even now, this is a workout that NEVER gets easy, and there’s always something new to learn.

These kickboxing classes started as a way for me to maintain my weight loss. I felt myself growing bored at the gym, and was terrified that I’d lose motivation and start gaining weight again. I was desperate to find something that would challenge me physically and give me the push I needed to move forward in my fitness journey.

Today, martial arts is a HUGE part of my life. And, in a lot of ways, I do credit Thai kickboxing with giving me the courage to start running. If nothing else, my journey in the Thai program has taught me just how strong I really am — physically and mentally.

Martial arts helped me see myself as a strong, fit person for the first time in my life. It made me realize just how tough I actually am, and that I was more than capable to go out and sign up for a 5K race…and then a 10K…and then a half…until I worked my way up to the full 26.2. If it weren’t for this program, I would have been way too intimidated to try Taekwondo, and I probably wouldn’t have an overflowing race medal hanger displayed on my wall.

So while this black belt means a lot to me, it doesn’t hold a candle to everything martial arts has done for me over the past couple of years. All throughout my weight loss journey, I used to get complimented about how “amazing” I looked, and all I cared about was being “skinny.” But these days, there’s nothing that makes me feel better about myself than when a fellow Thai or TKD classmate compliments my strength.

I look forward to seeing where it takes me over the next couple of years — hopefully, a black belt in Taekwondo, and maybe even another marathon or two…or six.

Have you ever done a long run in the rain?

Is there another activity you feel has helped support your running goals?

But first, here’s a look at last week’s training for the New York City Marathon!

Mon., Aug. 18: Taekwondo class and Thai kickboxing class

Tue., Aug. 19: Rest

Wed., Aug. 20: 4 miles and Thai kickboxing class

Thur., Aug. 21: 7 miles (4-mile run, 3-mile run) and Taekwondo class

Fri., Aug. 22: Taekwondo class and graduation

Sat., Aug. 23: Rest

Sun., Aug. 24: 15 miles

Total weekly mileage: 30 miles

This week was the first time I’ve ever tried splitting up a longer run. I just didn’t have the time to run the 7 miles on Thursday that my plan called for, especially since the majority of my shorter runs took place in the middle of the day last week. Between the heat killing my pace and causing me to stop to drink water constantly, it seems like anything over 3 or 4 miles takes me FOREVER to finish.

So I ran 4 miles earlier in the day, taught a couple of piano lessons, went to Taekwondo class, and immediately went out for another 3 miles. Needless to say, I was pretty tired at the end of the day, but I would definitely consider using the run-splitting technique again. I got the miles in…and that’s all that counts right?

This Sunday’s long run also went fairly well. It was in the lower- to mid-70′s and sunny, so it wasn’t the WORST conditions I’ve run in this summer…but definitely not the best, either! Todd ran his first double-digit run since our last half marathon back in May, and I took on 15 miles.

I won’t say that these long runs are getting easier, per se’ — especially since I hate waking up so freakin’ early and yet STILL struggling in the heat — but I will say I can feel that my training is working, and I’m feeling stronger and stronger every week!

Soooo gross. Is it fall yet?!

But the big news of this week? I’m finally a blue belt in Taekwondo!

I tested on Monday and attended my graduation on Friday, where I completed several musical forms (Todd tried videotaping me kicking and punching to patriotic music for you guys, but the video came out REALLY dark, sorry!) We also have to memorize combinations to advance to each belt level, and like the forms, perform ALL of them in addition to those we learned for our next belt. It’s a LOT to remember, I’ll tell you that much.

The purple belt form took me MONTHS to get down, and it’s to the Star Spangled Banner.

We were supposed to be holding flags for this form, lol

And, of course, you have to break a board before you get your new belt. In my case, with a sidekick.

In the Taekwondo belt hierarchy at my school, that means I only have three more belts to go before I can test for my black belt.

Photo credits: All “action” shots courtesy of this young lady and her snazzy camera, haha

It’ll be a looooong process, and studying Taekwondo really is no joke. Every single technique you learn is not only physically demanding, but has to be PERFECT before you’re allowed to move on. In fact, my “master” (sounds weird to call him that outside the context of the school, but, that’s basically what he is!) wouldn’t allow me to graduate last month because my toes weren’t pointed at the proper angle in a front-stance.

Taekwondo demands perfection at all times, which can be nerve-wracking, to say the least — but also really flippin’ exciting when you finally master a new technique!

I consider myself extremely fortunate to have found not one, but TWO physical activities that I’m so passionate about. Honestly, if I didn’t start taking Thai kickboxing classes, I’m not sure if I would have had the guts to try running…and I definitely spent the first couple of years of my time at Karate World totally intimidated by the Taekwondo students!

There is SO much to learn, and what I like most about both martial arts and running is that it’s all about the mind-body connection. Whether you’re pushing yourself to your physical (and mental!) limits to get to that finish line on a race course, or practicing over and over and OVER to perfect the art of a reverse sidekick or master your next form, both activities are all about developing that inner strength and discipline to set and achieve new goals.

And it’s become very clear to me that I thrive on tangible goals…whether it’s a new shiny race medal or my next belt in karate.

Have you ever split a longer run into two shorter runs?

In addition to running, are there any other physical activities you’re passionate about?

So, this past week it became official. I am now in training for marathon #3: the FREAKIN’ NEW YORK CITY MARATHON!

I am proud to report that I successfully tackled all of the runs on my training plan, including the longest training run I’ve done since March. On Sunday, Todd and I ran 8 miles at another new (to me!) park, which was nice to explore…even in the 85+ degree heat (UGH).

A couple of hot messes

Here’s what my first week of marathon training looked like:

Mon., June 30: Taekwondo class and Thai Kickboxing class

Tue., July 1: 5 mile run

Wed., July 2: Thai Kickboxing class

Thur., July 3: 2 mile run and Taekwondo class

Fri., July 4: Cranford Jaycees Firecracker 4-Miler (recap coming soon!)

Sat., July 5: Rest

Sun., July 6: 8 mile run

Total weekly mileage: 19 miles

I’ve decided to follow Hal Higdon’s Novice 2 training plan. I was orignally going to attempt an intermediate plan, but I decided against it for a number of reasons. For starters, I’m not gonna lie…I really haven’t been running since completing my second marathon in March. Since then, I have tackled a few “just for fun” half marathons, but my training runs in general have been purely recreational: slow and inconsistent.

I hate feeling as though I’m starting all over again, but I think when choosing a marathon training plan, you have to be honest with yourself — and right now, I’m just not ready for a five-day-a-week plan with more than one 20-mile run scheduled, thankyouverymuch. I did that for Dopey training, and while I absolutely credit Mr. Higdon with getting me across that finish line in one piece, I don’t think I want to take on a plan with quite that level of intensity right now.

Secondly, my training is beginning in the summer. And as many of you know, this is the time of year when I turn into a whiny, miserable mess when it comes to running. I HATE logging miles in the heat, and there’s just not a whole heck of a lot I can do to change that. But I really, REALLY want to run NYCM, so I’ll be using that as my motivation to lace up my sneakers on these hot, humid summer days. This week’s runs were all tackled in temperatures that soared well over 80 degrees, and I definitely did not enjoy them. I can feel how out-of-shape I’ve become, and I’m frustrated by how hard running feels to me right now. I can’t help but think that it was only 6 months ago that I ran a marathon. How is that even possible when, these days, a 4-mile race feels like a struggle?

Lastly, I plan to take full advantage of the fact that my teaching schedule is much lighter in the summer, and take as many karate classes as I can. It takes me FOREVER to advance to the next belt level because it’s so hard for me to get to class, so I wanted a plan where I could still incorporate my Taekwondo classes and the occasional Thai class (because it’s pretty rough on the body) into my weekly routine. So far, that’s exactly what I’m doing, even if that means days when I double up on classes or run and take karate — although I know that may not be the smartest idea as my mileage increases later in the plan.

Still a purple belt…

The bottom line? In many ways, I do sort of feel like a beginner. My goal for my first marathon was simple: to survive. And that’s no joke. I wanted to finish the Dopey Challenge in an upright position, and I wanted to be in good enough shape to pose for pictures with Disney characters and have fun along the way.

Mission accomplished.

In my second marathon (Todd’s first) just eight weeks later, my goal was to make sure Todd survived. I was running the race with him, period, and decided several weeks in advance that I would not be setting any personal goals for that race (especially since I was WIPED OUT from Dopey training, anyway).

So this is actually the first time that I’m taking on a 26.2 mile race with any sort of time goal in mind. I want to be conservative and say that I’d be happy with anything under 5 hours (Dopey took almost 6 hours with all the stops along the way, and DC was about 5:20 because unfortunately Todd bonked a little bit), but deep down I know I can probably set my sights a little higher than that. There was a time not all that long ago where I was thisclose to a sub-2 hour half marathon, and I think that with consistency and a whole lot of sweating this summer, it’s reasonable to set my “A” goal for the New York City Marathon at 4:30. My “B” goal is 4:45, and my final “I’ll take it” goal is currently 5:00.

Of course, that can all change as I get going, but for right now, I am moving full steam ahead with my plans to pour everything I have into this marathon training cycle. All I want is to show up at the starting line of the NYCM in November feeling strong and prepared and ready to really RUN a marathon.

What are you currently training for?

How do you choose a training plan?

Mon., April 28: 5-mile run

Tue., April 29: 3-mile bike ride, 2-mile run

Wed., April 30:  Rest

Thur., May 1: 3-mile run

Fri., May 2: 4-mile run and Taekwondo class

Sat., May 3: Thai kickboxing class and gym workout/strength training

Sun., May 4: Thai kickboxing class

This week, I tried to slowly start getting back on a consistent running routine. And I have to say, even though they were all shorter runs, I’m still having a hard time. Physically, I can definitely feel the lack of consistent training catching up to me (good thing I have one more spring half marathon to run in 2 weeks…*gulp*…) but mentally, I can feel my urge to run coming back. I am starting to “miss” it a little bit, and I am legitimately starting to enjoy my runs again.

I was willing to do whatever I had to do to break out of the running rut I’ve been dealing with for the past few months, and I do think that some time off has done me a lot of good — even though my legs (and, let’s face it, waistline) would probably disagree.

My plan is to run the Superhero Half Marathon for fun and then continue to run “by feel” until I start New York City Marathon training in July. That way, I’m hoping my body/mind will be fully recovered from the countless races I ran in the fall, and the two full marathons in January and March, so I can hit the ground running (no pun intended) when it comes time to train for New York!

In the meantime, I’m focusing on staying active and getting in plenty of cross-training. When I want to run, I run. When I want to cycle, I cycle. And I’ve been making it to as many martial arts classes as my schedule will allow — last week I was FINALLY granted my purple belt in Taekwondo! In addition to memorizing combinations and new kicking techniques for each belt level, you also have to demonstrate a form to music (it’s always patriotic, like Stars and Stripes Forever or God Bless America), and let me tell you…it took me forever to learn it!

Have you ever taken time off from running?

What are some of your other favorite cross-training activities?

First things first: many, many thanks to all of you for your helpful, supportive comments on my last post! I have taken in everything you guys said, and I feel a lot better about scaling back now. And that is why I PROMISE I will be better about keeping up with my weekly workout posts — not only to share my progress, but to help myself stay accountable and be able to see right here in black and white when I may be pushing myself too hard.

As silly as it sounds, I think I really needed to hear that I wasn’t going to somehow lose my ability to run just because I’m taking a little bit of a break. I was convinced that if I miss a training run here and there or don’t follow a training plan to a T, then that means I won’t be “prepared” for race day. And I guess I really am afraid of toeing the starting line — at this upcoming marathon, or ANY future race — and being undertrained. Running is so important to me, and I never want to do anything that could potentially hurt myself.

That being said, beginning this week I am taking your advice to RELAX. Because right now, I really do think I am hurting myself — mentally speaking, anyway.

Last week, I struggled through two 3-mile runs. And I do mean struggled. I know 3 miles should feel like a walk in the park to me now, but I just COULD. NOT. DO. IT. I hated every minute of it. Then I had already made the decision to squeeze in one final long run before the marathon, which I did this Saturday, and let me tell you — if that run wasn’t a wake-up call, I don’t know what is.

Mon., Feb. 3: Rest

Tue., Feb. 4: Taekwondo class

Wed., Feb. 5: 3 miles

Thur., Feb. 6: 3 miles

Fri., Feb. 7: Taekwondo class

Sat., Feb. 8: 19 miles

Sun., Feb. 9: Thai Kickboxing class

Weekly mileage: 25 miles

As previously discussed, after running the Dopey Challenge I had decided to (try) to follow Todd’s marathon plan as closely as possible to prepare for our next big race: Rock N’ Roll USA in Washington, DC. I had already told him that I would do this weekend’s scheduled 19-miler with him, and then after all of your advice last week, I made the executive decision that this would be my last long training run for quite some time.

And I am so, SO glad. Because it was truly horrendous. It was by far one of my worst runs ever, and that is including my 17-miler for Dopey that I ran while sick and felt like I wanted to die. It’s hard to put into words just how bad it was, honestly…but I guess I’ll give it a shot.

We typically break up our long runs into three sections, stopping twice for bathroom/fuel/water in between — and for the first 7 miles, I felt okay. We were chatting and moving along at a decent pace, and I didn’t feel too bad at all.

But after our first break, things took a turn for the worse. Somewhere around mile 10, I started to have some sort of mental breakdown…and I feel as though my body followed suit. I felt like I literally had run out of steam, and I could not seem to put one foot in front of the other. My mind was racing with thoughts of just how much longer I had to go, and how I couldn’t do it, and how much I hated running, and why was I doing this to myself, and what is wrong with me, and I’ll never be able to run this marathon, and I never want to run again, and on and on and on.

And then it felt like my body started to shut down on me. I couldn’t get control of my breathing…I was panicking about just how miserable I was and beating myself up over not being stronger than this. My right foot started to hurt, and then (probably because I was trying to overcompensate), my left hamstring completely tightened up. The chill was also really starting to get to me; I hated sucking in that cold, icy air and feeling the wind whipping on my face, and since I kept having to slow down or stop to walk or stretch my legs out, my heart rate kept dropping and the chill would spread all over me.

I could not calm myself down. And, on top of it all, I felt like a horrible person for ruining the run for Todd and making him worry about me.

I somehow made it to our second break and I know I could have stopped right then and there. I could have jumped into a delightfully HOT shower and put my feet up and watched TV while he finished the run. (I know Todd wanted me to stop, but he knows better than to try to tell me what to do…I’m as stubborn as they come, haha). Truth be told, YES, I wanted to throw in the towel so, so badly. In hindsight, I probably should have.

But I couldn’t let myself quit. I had to finish. So we went out again for the final 6 miles, and that was when both of my legs pretty much decided to stop working. It felt like every muscle was seizing up and I just could not make them move forward. I’m not exaggerating at all when I tell you that my legs were starting to feel the way they felt in the last 10K of my marathon last month.

I ended up run/walking the majority of the final 2 miles. That is something I have never done on a training run. But I didn’t care. I kept telling Todd to go ahead of me when I stopped to walk so as to not hinder his run, and then he’d run in circles to come back for me or I’d slowly catch up. Those last 6 miles dragged on forever.

In the end, I did it.

Somehow, magically, my legs didn’t feel all that bad when we stopped, and they were only a little sore that day and the day after — nothing out of the ordinary. Which is how I know it’s the mental side of things that’s getting to me now.

In any case, I have never been so happy to be done with something in my life. (This is the fakest smile EVER, in case you were wondering).

The good news? Todd said that it was one of his best training runs. He felt great. He has been working so hard and is SO ready for this marathon…and I am unbelievably proud of him.

After my disastrous 19-miler this weekend, my reflections on this week’s workouts include a really big, important realization.

I am so, so DONE with training plans. At least for a little while. I can’t take it anymore.

There is no way I will even be attempting the final 20-miler on Todd’s training plan. I hate to feel like I’m “quitting,” but at the same time, I know it’s best for me. I can’t take the anxiety and the pressure and the disappointment that have taken over my runs ever since I got back from running Dopey.

One good thing that came out of this week is that while I scale back on running, I can hopefully be more consistent with making it to my martial arts classes. Since I’ve had such tunnel vision for Dopey, and then this upcoming Rock n’ Roll marathon, I’ve been skipping classes left and right and have basically been on hiatus…so it felt really good to be back. It has been months and months since I earned my green belt in Taekwondo, and I’d like to move on to purple sometime this century.

I was also happy to make it to my Thai kickboxing class this weekend. It’s definitely a TOUGH workout, so I still reap the benefits of those wonderful endorphins afterwards…and I don’t know, there’s something about beating the crap out of things that really helps release some of my pent-up stress.

My plans moving forward?

1.) No more training plans. I will run if and when I choose, and for as many miles as I see fit. I will not so much as look at any training plan. I’ve been obsessing about logging miles and crossing workouts off a training plan since I came back from running the Dumbo Double Dare in Disneyland last September, and quite frankly, enough is enough!

2.) No more gadgets. I think it’s best if my Garmin hibernates for a little while. If I feel inclined to run, then I will try a few runs sans watch, which lately has done nothing but make me feel bad about myself for not being able to hit my “normal” pace or make me feel overwhelmed by how many miles I have left.

3.) No more forcing myself to run. If I go out for a run and I’m not feeling it, then I will come home. Too bad, so sad, I’ll try again the next day. It’s not that serious and there’s no need to force anything…it has only made me feel worse.

4.) No more skipping martial arts classes. I need them right now. Running became my entire life and I let everything else fall by the wayside. It’s no wonder I’m burnt out! I also used to cycle at least once a week, so as the weather gets warmer (read: if it EVER stops freakin’ snowing) my plan is to dust that bad boy off and take it out for a spin one of these days.

5.) No more comparing myself to other runners. I will stop obsessing over what various running websites or Facebook comments or magazine articles have to say about how many miles I’m “supposed” to run in the weeks before a marathon or what my target pace “should” be for a particular workout. If that works for other runners, great. But I need to figure out what works for me right now in the hopes of getting my running mojo back as soon as humanly possible.

6.) No more letting running take over all of my spare time. Since I had been training for Dopey and Todd has been training for the DC marathon, our weekends have basically consisted of dreadfully long runs followed by a whole lot of sitting around because neither of us has the energy to do anything (the craptastic weather has NOT helped, either). I think we’re both feeling a little on edge lately, so this weekend we went out to eat for the first time in I don’t know how long and we also paid a visit to the Liberty Science Center — because I can’t remember the last time we planned some sort of “just for fun” activity — and I felt so much better afterwards. I think we both need to be better about balancing running with the rest of our lives, and hopefully that’s something we can work on together.

7.) No more feeling guilty. This is probably going to be the toughest one for me. I’m sort of a Type A personality (duh), and I like structure, and I like to do things “right.” So feeling guilty about not being perfect pretty much goes with the territory. But, of course, I am the farthest thing from perfect, and while it might be ideal to continue following a consistent training plan or log X number of miles a week or wait a little longer before beginning my official taper, then that’s just too bad and I’m not going to beat myself up or let myself feel guilty if I have to take a break and focus on what’s best for me right now.

Bottom line? I know I can run this marathon. I’m not going to let this weekend’s run get me down because I KNOW I am ready. We both are! So there’s no need to run myself ragged…now it’s time to focus on doing what I need to do to get myself to the starting line in one piece.

So, these are my plans until we take on the marathon on March 15th. In the meantime, I will be back to Walt Disney World this month for a long weekend to run the Glass Slipper Challenge, which might be just what I need right now — there is nothing more fun than running Disney, and I think I need that reminder of how much I used to enjoy this.

The Princess Half Marathon is a really special race for me because it was my very first half marathon, so I’m hoping that being back for the second time one year later and having the opportunity to reflect on everything I’ve done since then will help get me back into the right mindset. After all, I DID used to run for FUN…right?!

After the marathon, I will reassess from there. I may need some time off completely, or possibly just do a few relaxed weekly runs, or sign up for some shorter “just for fun” races, or whatever…but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get myself out of this funk.

Have you ever had to take a break from running?

Have you ever had to adjust a training plan?

How do you balance running with the rest of your life?